Five Tips To Make Your Conversations With Women More Effective
When it comes to getting a girlfriend, one of the greatest obstacles that guys face is struggling to lead the conversation and move it forward.
This is the bottom line: If you can’t carry on a cool conversation that moves things in the right direction, you can’t be super successful with women. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don’t worry – I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. While some lucky dudes are naturally blessed with the “gift of gab,” other guys (like myself) were able to learn how to talk to girls effectively.
With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. Once you develop the core skills that I’m about to explain, you’ll be ready to strike up a conversation with a girl in virtually any situation.
You always want to give women the sense that you’re an ORIGNAL guy, unllike the last 47 chumps who tried to approach her and failed to interest her. Don’t ask the same questions or use any of the same “lines” that she’s heard from all the other guys. When you use these methods of “creative conversation,” she’ll never know what you’re going to say next – and this stimulates her curosity and interest in you. By keeping her guessing (and on her toes), you’ll make sure she is never bored when talking to you – and boredom is probably the #1 “attraction killer” that will destroy your chances of hooking up.
Five Rules For Talking To Girls
You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys.
So let’s jump into it. Here are five of my favorite methods for turbo-charging your conversations with women.
1. Be perceptive, notice details, and be aware of your surroundings
You’ll never “run out of steam” during the conversation, and struggle to figure out what to say next, if you pay attention to the environment you’re in — and the people, places and things around you. . This can spark attraction in a woman, when she feels that you’re confident enough to lead the conversation and you’re tuned into your surroundings. Just make sure whatever you say is accurate and genuine, and you don’t have an agenda behind it. Don’t underestimate the power of the female “B.S. detector,” which is hard-wired into them. (This is especially true with very attractive women, who have a ton of experience with talking to men and can spot a phony a mile away.) If she feels that you’re not being truthful, or that you’re trying to manipulate her into hooking up with you, it’s game over.
2. Ask genuine, non-threatening questions
If you’re been studying PUA (Pick Up Artist) routines and language, there’s a good chance that the girl you’re talking to has encountered this stuff before. PUA routines have gone mainstream, and in bars and clubs around the world these routines are being overused. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) – assuming she hasn’t heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever “pickup routine” in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can’t maintain eye contact. All you really need to do is ask authentic questions that demonstrate that you’re sincerely interested in her (and her goals, personal interests, and perhaps a “hidden talent” or passion that you can get her to reveal. Also keep in mind that a woman needs to feel comfortable with you, in order for her to feel a connection. (And if you’re obviously not comfortable in your own skin…and confident in yourself…there’s no way she’s going to feel comfortable with the conversation.)
True “players” don’t rely on corny lines they memorized from a website, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions.
3. Listen actively (being a good listener can be even MORE important than knowing what to say next)
One of the best ways to keep a conversation going isn’t by being the smoothest talker, or monopolizing the conversation – but instead, being the best listener. Being a great listener might not come naturally to you, especially if you’re an outgoing guy with a good sense of humor, who is used to being the center of attention when you’re hanging out with your buddies. Even if you have to bite your tongue waiting for someone to finish their thought or ideas, do it. One of the rules of human behavior is that people appreciate it when other people LISTEN to them, and this is especially true with women, who really appreciate a guy who seems interested in what they have to say. This also takes some of the burden off of you when you’re conversing with women. Instead of constantly trying to dominate the conversation and talking about yourself, ask her a thought-provoking question (check out the Mack Tactics book to learn some of these, especially the chapter on “Hypotheticals”) and then listen and appreciate what she has to say.
4. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light
Most women spend a lot of time worrying about any number of topics. A guy who can keep her mind off the worries of the world is someone she’ll want to spend more time with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne — these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. When you radiate this type of confidence and control, women are going to want to follow your lead because you make them feel safe. By being cool, calm and relaxed at all times, and using humor (especially when things aren’t going according to plan, such as trying to talk to a girl in a loud, crowded nightclub), you’ll make her feel safe in your presence, and this is one of the prerequisites for making any woman feel attraction.
5. Stay in the moment and always be “present” (not distracted)
Men have a tendency to let their thoughts drift in a million different directions, rather than focusing on what’s right in front of them — in this case, a woman you want to connect with. We tend to be “up in our head,” or nervous, thinking about what has or might happen – or what an attractive woman might think of us. When this happens, and you allow your own “mental traffic” to distract you, you won’t be focused on the present moment. This means that even though you might be standing right in front her, you are not truly “present.” And when women sense this, it’s a big turn-off.
A female friend of mine said: “Being present is EVERYTHING.” This means you’re truly engaged in a conversation, contributing and giving genuine feedback. Don’t behave like most guys do — nodding your head like a brainless “bobble head” doll and simply saying “uh-huh” or “yeah, totally” once in a while. You’re not fooling women when you take this lazy, distracted approach to the conversation. You’ll seem apathetic (i.e. you really don’t care about what she’s saying), or just plain clueless and socially awkward. This certainly won’t score you any points with her, and she’ll probably want to excuse herself from the conversation before long.
Like anything, you’ll have to put in time and effort to develop this skill – but the payoff goes far beyond just picking up girls, because these same skills can get you ahead with your career or your business pursuits. Everyone loves to be listened to and appreciated, whether it’s a babe you meet at the bar, or the guy sitting across the desk from you, interviewing you for a job.
Conversation is just one of the skills needed to be a badass with women. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). Don’t try and “re-invent the wheel” when it comes to your social life. And I’m not a believer in PUA routines or trying to use sneaky, manipulative tricks to attract women, since this stuff rarely works in the long run. I’m sure your goal is to meet QUALITY women — not girls who are easily tricked or deceived into sleeping with you.
A Few More Secrets To Help You Get More Girls…
Guys who are baffled about the effective ways of getting the girl should best become adept in the skill of dating and picking up girls. Where picking up girls is concerned, the men should keep on practicing the different methods and techniques that pick up artists use to get the job done. The tricky talent for dating needs guys to have the know-how plus the perfect pick up line plus the attitude; all these are required for one guy to become just like the talented pick up artists. How, then, can any guy get the girl?
Before you even put one foot in front of the other to approach the girl you like, you first have to check yourself. Do you look presentable – with trendy clothes that show you as a fashion-forward guy, not a fashion victim? Do you make it a point to dress appropriately for the place? Do you wear clean clothes that show you as a decent and well-mannered guy? These are questions that need resounding yeses as positive answers to the questions can greatly help you get the girl.
The second step in getting the girl needs you to pay attention to your attitude or way of carrying yourself. For this one, you need to get the message across that you are an authority in the social scene and thus are a man of importance. You have to instill in the observers’ minds that you are an important part of the circle and are a well respected one. So, walk confidently with your head held high, keep your hands relaxed, and keep eye contact with the girl, but don’t act arrogant. These things can help you make the girl give you a second glance.
The third tip in getting the girl, just like the previous two, happens before meeting a girl you like. You have to broaden your network of friends for social proof. This step is critical as it helps a lot in making girls take notice of your worth as a member in the social scene. When a girl sees that you are sociable and that your friends enjoy your company, your “attractiveness points” go up in the girl’s eyes. Thus, make lots of friends and don’t just limit yourself to guys; make friends with lots of girls as well – this tells the girl that you are a loved and valued member of the group.
The last tip in getting the girl may be done during the actual time when you see a girl that catches your eye. You have to choose the fitting and interesting pick up line to make her pay attention to you all the more, if the first three steps have made her look your way already. There are many pick up lines to choose from: sweet, corny, naughty, funny, and a whole lot more! You have to know a few in each category so that you can fit the one that best fits a certain situation or setting. Of course, you must remember to say your chosen pick up line in a confident sort of way.
To come to the point, becoming proficient in the art of picking up girls and in dating requires patience to get the tricks down pat on your part. You won’t become a great pick up artist just by waiting for divine intervention to grant you the magic words to say to the girl. No, you have to dress fashionably, act confidently, circulate to be noticed, and choose a great pick up line. When you do all these things, the seemingly difficult task of getting the girl becomes easy.
Download the famous Mack Tactics guide, and I’ll give you the exact “blueprint” you need to make powerful, lasting changes in your lifestyle and attitude. This book contains dozens of awesome strategies and techniques for meeting girls and quickly creating “connections” with them — but at the same time, you’ll learn how to develop an overall lifestyle and image that women find deeply interesting and attractive. Click the link below and get started.