Taking Action To Get A Girl Back
Getting dumped by the girl you love is one of the most difficult and heart-wrenching situations a guy can go through, and after the initial shock subsides, figuring out how to get a girl back usually becomes his #1 obsession. I’ll share some tips on getting a girl back in a moment, but for starters, the key to being able to win back a girl is to determine exactly why she dumped you in the first place. You can make all sorts of changes while working on getting the girl back, but if you are not addressing the core issue, your efforts may be in vain.
As difficult as it may be to hear, you need to first find out the true reason that she did not want to be in a relationship with you. Once you are armed with accurate information, you can then decide whether real changes are in order, and figure out the right strategy to win her back.
1. Be cool. As hard as it is, you’ve got to try to keep your emotions in check. Acting needy and desperate is only going to make her feel more justified in her decision to break up with you. Resist the temptation to call her, text her, or email her (especially when you’re drunk!) One of the best strategies to get a girl back is to make her feel that you’re doing just fine without her. If she’s got mixed emotions about the breakup, and feels that she may have made the wrong decision, this “cooling off” period will give her an opportunity to think about the relationship, and about you. She may realize during this time period that she never should have broken up with you. But you MUST give her some time to consider this. Behaving like an insecure, blubbering mess will only cause her to run in the other direction, and if you display any type of “stalker behavior” (i.e. showing up at her house or job), you’re only going to freak her out — and turn her friends against you. Her friends might fear for her safety and tell her to completely avoid you.
2. Maintain contact with your mutual friends (the people that you, and her, are friends with). Naturally, they’re going to inquire about the breakup and want to know how you’re coping with it. Give them the sense that you still care about your ex-girlfriend deeply, but make it seem like you’re already moving on with your life and you’re busy with other things. They will report this to your ex, and this is one of the most powerful ways to make her question her decision to dump you. She WANTS to hear that you’re heartbroken and desperate to get back together with her. If she hears the opposite, it’s going to make her think about reaching out to you…because she hates the thought of you forgetting about and easily moving on to another relationship.
3. Don’t bother try to convince her to get back with you. Women are not logical creatures. They make these decisions based on their emotions, not the facts. In order to get her back you’ll have to win her heart, not her mind.
4. If you want to take a more aggressive approach to get a girl back, you can mention to your mutual friends that you’ve “met someone new.” Don’t explain any details, just mention that you’ve met someone cool and you’re taking things slow and seeing what develops. When THIS information gets relayed to your ex-girlfriend, it’s going to make her seriously re-consider the breakup if she still has feelings for you. Never underestimate the power of stirring up some jealousy!
Should You Make Changes To Get The Girl Back?
Before you start making major changes to your personality or lifestyle, you should first ask yourself whether those changes are in your own best interest. If you are attempting to alter your personality just to get a girl back, you need to be sure that those changes will benefit your own sense of well-being in the long run. If the changes end up making you a better person, then by all means feel free to attempt them. If, on the other hand, you are trying to alter your true character simply as a means to get a girl back, with no real intention of becoming a better person, you may wish to rethink your plan of action. Temporary alterations of behavior patterns cannot be sustained over the long haul. Eventually your true character traits will begin to reappear and you will be right back where you started.
Once you know why your girl ended her relationship with you and have determined that real changes are in order and in your best interest, it is then time to carve out a plan to get your girl back. You can base your plan of action on whatever the reason was that your ex-girlfriend gave you for ending the relationship. If her reasons were based on tangible particulars, like the fact that you do not have a job, then you can set about finding yourself employment. If she felt that you did not have any goals in life, then start making concrete plans for a productive future for yourself. Not only will these changes make you appear to be better relationship material, but they will also benefit you in the long run.
Issues That Complicate Trying To Get A Girl Back
Not all changes are going to be simple. If you are trying to get back together with an ex-girlfriend who has serious problems with your actual character, quick and easy relationship tips may not be in your best interest, and there aren’t any get her back lines that you can use to overcome her objections. (Once, a guy even asked me if there are any black magic get love back “spells” that would help getting her back!)
If she felt that you had relationship issues like trust or jealousy, those shortcomings might be require a significant amount of introspection on your part. Overcoming relationship issues as significant as trust or jealousy will require ongoing self-evaluation and possibly even counseling. Prior to embarking down this road to recovery, you need to first ensure that the issues were yours and that your previous partner was truly trustworthy in the first place. She could possibly have been projecting her own guilty conscience onto you, when in fact you may have been right to mistrust her. Before attempting to correct any personality issues, you need to be completely sure that those issues are in need of correction.
When You Truly Want To Get A Girl Back…
If you truly want to get a lady back you need to be a person that makes a great relationship partner. You need to be self-sufficient, interesting, and confident. You need to be a wonderful person to be around all on your own, and only be enhanced by being in a relationship with someone, not defined by that other person. If you feel like you are no-one without her, that could very well be the problem. Strong, emotionally healthy people make great relationship partners. Needy, clingy individuals do not make great partners. Work on being the best person that you can be and living to your full potential. By doing so, you will become a stronger individual regardless of who you end up in a relationship with, and in the future the question of how to get a girl back won’t be an issue in your life.